My son and I recently toured a day care. The first stop on the tour was the infant room, upon which the director/tour guide told us that room is for babies from six weeks to a year old. The thought of a six-week-old in day care made me want to cry.
On the way home, we popped into a book store and I read the jacket of a novel from the “New and Noteworthy” display. It was “Either/Or” by Elif Batuman. I realized my book club read her previous book, “The Idiot,“ and I didn’t really get it –but reviewers did, so maybe I’m the idiot?– and that made me want to cry too.
A little further along the way home, I ran into Frankie Celenza, a friend from college who was shooting a cooking show at a beloved local restaurant I won’t name in case it blows some surprise twist in the show a la Jury Duty (which my husband and I just finished binging/being delight by off the suggestion of
) . Somehow, this also made me want to cry.Are my postpartum hormones still wrecking havoc on my life? Probably. But this brings me to today’s theme: consistency.
Consistency is extremely hard. It’s so difficult in fact, that even the word “consistency” gives up on “s” after two and jumps to a “c” for the last “sss” sound. I have gone to culinary school, improv school, half a semester of hotel school, filled out 3/4 an application to film school, and started more novels, screenplays, live shows, and podcasts than I care to remember.
According to Forbes (where I once pitched an article about yachts, or Faberge eggs, or something), “So many people amount to a fraction of their true capability because they are so inconsistent with what they do.”
*Raises hand* “It me.”
, who’s book signing for “Hidden Genius” I tried to go to last week but *cue my catchphrase* “couldn’t find childcare,” credits consistency for the growth of her newsletter, “The Profile”. I even have “consistency” written in Sharpie on a Post-it above my desk so I remember to continue the (self) agreed upon cadence of this newsletter –and I still can’t seem to!
This is all to say that:
a) I’ve streamlined my newsletter format in efforts to keep it more consistent.
b) Six-week-olds should not need to be in daycare –please stop fighting wood oven pizza Eric Adams, and give women appropriate city-wide maternity leave.
Short Interviews With Interesting People
My very talent friend, fellow mom, and onetime writing partner and roommate (we might have lost the owner’s cat immediately upon arrival) Abby Elliott, stole every scene she was in Bravo’s Odd Mom Out , “dated” Adam Pally’s character on Happy Endings, and was the youngest female cast member ever on SNL. Last month she welcomed both her second child (congrats Abby and Billy!) and the return of her hit show The Bear. Here’s a mini-version of her and Danielle Cohen’s conversation in The Cut.
What’s your No. 1 comedy rule?
Now that I’m in my mid-30s and I’m a mom, I feel like making a joke at the expense of someone else, even if it’s totally harmless, is just not worth it at all. People are sensitive about anything. When I was first starting out, I would toy with how hard I could go at someone: Can I do this impression where it’s, like, borderline mean? Will that do anything for me? I realized the answer is “no,” which was easy to learn, but it took time to really set in. I don’t even like impressions anymore unless it’s someone’s really specific campy voice, like Chloe Fineman doing Jennifer Coolidge. For me, I’ve found there are other ways to make people laugh.
What was the No. 1 rule on SNL about interacting with guests?
Don’t bring up their personal lives. I was there from 2008 to 2012, which was peak Perez Hilton tabloid fodder. Some people would disclose those things without an issue. Emma Stone was always an open book with everybody, and you could have, like, a girl chat with Anna Faris. But there were people I probably wouldn’t pry for information. Lindsay Lohan hosted when I was there, and I really wanted to know what was and wasn’t true given how much I was reading about her. It’s a gossipy environment.
What’s the key to a successful dinner party?
Don’t cap anyone’s alcohol and have plenty of food. Don’t stop anyone at any time from eating or drinking something they want. Letting everyone kind of sit and enjoy everything in front of them is important.
What’s one house rule you’ll always enforce?
I need one person to know where our tiny Yorkie-poo is at all times. There are coyotes all around our house, so I will not let him out of my sight.
What’s one wedding etiquette rule that should be done away with? People should wear whatever they want to a wedding. I get it if there’s a specific theme; that’s fun. But someone I know just got invited to a wedding that was black tie, then they changed it to cocktail, and then they changed it back to black tie. They just could not make up their mind. You’ve gotta stick with one thing. You’re committing to one person! It looks bad.
Further reading: Find the entire interview here.
What I Learned From Abby
We both have Yorki-poos! Though admittedly, unlike Abby, now that I have a baby I sometimes forget his whereabouts, his dinner, and what month it is.
With the exception of roast comedy in which everyone has consented to feeling and acting like garbage in the name of laughs and Nick Cannon, making a joke at someone else’s expense is never worth it.
Don’t be afraid of color. I aspire to live in a monochromatic home of negative space, so perhaps this is the advice I need.
EOW Moments of Levity
Something to see: Maybe do be a little afraid of color? (NYT)
Something to read: The chimp who last month was all of us leaving work on a Summer Friday, is now making new chimp friends like a hot transfer student in the cafeteria. (NYPost)
Something to think about: How many more short form text-based social media platforms will need to launch before we can finally admit we all want to spend our days doing something more meaningful than shout self-promotion down a digital hallway? (Not to mention, we writers have a hard enough time getting paid for our work, so why are we writing unprompted for free?) Let me know on Threads, Bluesky, Twitter, Notes, or Truth Media. (CNN)